Existential Dilemma
[By Moin Ahsan Jazbi. Interpretive translation from the Urdu by Siyaah]
Why pray for death, why hope for life?
This world or the other- why desire either?
The fire that you lit- was doused by tears,
That which the tears have sparked, what will put out?
When the ship was safe and sound- who desired the shore,
Now, on this wreck- why desire it at all?
The world abandoned you Jazbi, why not abandon the world?
You've understood the world- why cry for it anymore?
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The poet's nom-de-plume, Jazbi, means "one who absorbs / attracts".
The verses of this ghazal are ripe with idiomatic expressions. I have attempted to 'save the soul' and also kept it as literally close to the original as possible.
--
Update: As promised, here's a high quality recording of this ghazal rendered by Habib Wali. I noticed that this one is more classical, while the earlier one has more 'movie-song' type music:
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6 comments:
brring the last pgh which was grt, i feel the translation cd be a little improved. not sure how, but it doesnt have ur touch of genius
"Ab aisi shikasta kashti par, saahil ki tamanna kaun kare."
Rather than looking down at the desire itself (as in "why desire it at all"), the poet seems to talk about the impracticability/impossibility of making the desire come true.
("can anyone desire it at all")
"The fire that you lit"- the verb 'lit' is positive like roshan karna and poet's 'jo aag lagayi thi' sounds more like jalaa dena
(though i too can't think of a better word for that)
/*the much awaited 'critical' appreciation!*/
I agree with introvert. The fire was not 'lit', it was 'conflagrated'. It took me a while to get to the correct veerb. Lol.
Really good effort. I liked it.
I think you have done a really good job! translation is not a very easy task as you have to understand/keep the soul of the original poem as well as choose the suitable words that make it sound rhythmic in English as well. I believe that it is even more difficult than creating/saying a new piece of work!Given all this your interpretation and translation of this poem is Great!
phoenix: glad u thought the last part was okay. translating "ab duniya duniya kaun kare" was a nightmare, as it literally goes "now who should say- world, world"!! "Now why cry for it" carried the implication while preserving a little of the literal.
introvert: good points. thanks. you're right "fire" in this context to an English-only audience would imply a more positive meaning e.g. the Doors' "Light My Fire". Interestingly, in Urdu poetry tradition, involvement with the beloved is often seen as both a curse and a blessing, and "fire" here should ideally convey the negative implication too. have to improve this in next version.
On 'desire', I'd say the full line "Now on this wreck - why desire it at all" conveys impracticability/impossibility, which should be the implication, as you said. "Can anyone desire it..." might suggest a loss of desire i.e. the present situation makes one lose the desire and one cant desire anymore....I'd say the desire is potentially there, the futility of having the desire is pointed out. but its a tough one!
tapasya: thanks for highlighting it...see resp to introvert above. have to improve this..thx for attempting to dig out possible words!
indscribe: thanks for the encouragement...hope to see more of u here.
anonymous: thanks! Yes, its a tough and inconsistent process...one fully realizes it only when immersed in it...I am new to this. Wrote a piece on it here.
Thanks all for visiting and for a close reading...thats what keeps me going!
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