Wahi kehne lage deewaana jab se
Kya shikwa kare koi baaqi sab se
Hai kaisi wafaa ye aakhir tujhse
Hun bewafaa jaise duniya se jab se
Barson mein tumhe dekha to samjha
Kis toofaan ko tha thaame kab se
Kya maangun aakhir ab tujhse
Wo chand din hi geraan hain kab se
[geraan=heavy]
Aaj tumhe sach bola to laga yun
Sab jhooth tha umr bhar baaqi sab se
Koi manzil hi humein raas na aayi
Tum raah mein saath rahe na jab se
Har taabeer adhoori hi lagi
Tum hi khwaab the awwal sab se
Har dard mein yaad tumhi kyun aaye
Zakhm tum hi the gehre sab se
Ye kaisi tishnagi tere liye thi
Barhdti hi jaae mile ho jab se
Hai zyaada khushi ke aaj mile hain
Ya ghum ke bichhde hain hum kab se
Sab de dun tujh ko waapas le lun
Kaise karun ye sauda rab se
Roz tumhe socha to nahi par
Sab ghum aur khushi hain tere kab se
Ab phir se kya maangun main rab se
Tum to mere hi rahe ho tab se
Koi dard hi baaqi nahi daaman mein
Wo ghar waapas aaye hain jab se
Hai gunaah to kyun sohbat mein teri
Raabta bardhta jae hai rab se
Sab ek hi Siyaahi se likh daale
Aaghaaz-e-ashaar hua tumse jab se.
[By Siyaah]
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9 comments:
Wonderfully penned :)
Bhupinder:
Thank you!
bahut khoob...
Kayal:
Thanks!
Arse baad koi ghazal dil ko chhu gayi.. :)
Har dard mein yaad tumhi kyun aaye
Zakhm tum hi the gehre sab se
- especially liked this one.
Vik:
Thanks...one has to be in a certain mood for this!
That sher was one of the first few that formed, generating the theme for the entire ghazal, which then flowed naturally...though perhaps some inconsistency in quality in places...
This is lovely and has many gems. I think, in poetry, elision-i.e lexical ellipsis (ta’qid-e-lafzi- adds beauty so you can omit double 'se' and write
Hun bewafaa jaise duniya jab se
which is more poetic because it has both meanings.
Similarly
Aaghaaz-e-ashaar hua tum se jab se is too plain and Hallmark card.
I would instinctively write 'tujh bil jabr se' because there is more tazmin for such a thought.
Otherwise, the meaning is rather slack. Writing everything in the same ink is not poetic- we do that anyway. Writing everything in the dark blood of the disgrace, black as ink, of deflowerment, however has a different meaning.
Recently, a visitor to my blog drew my attention to the relationship between the sakshi (witness) of the Upanishads and the Shahid (martyr means witness) of the Abrahamic traditions. Sarfaroshi ki tammana- zeal for giving one's head (but it must be a virgin offering!) is common to both popular Hinduism of all regions of country as well as Islam.
I am judging you to be a younger man than myself- so forgive my senile remarks.
Great poem. Thousands can be expert in a language- few can write genuine poetry in it. You can. God bless.
You write so beautifully,its mesmerizing! I am fan :)
Windwheel: Thanks for the detailed commentary!
Anonymous: Thanks!
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