Monday, May 30, 2011

Ab waapas jaane do

Ab waapas jaane do
Dard mein waapas jaane do

Main kho sa gaya hoon khushion mein
Mujhe dard mein waapas jaane do

Main ab aadi hoon tanhai ka
Sab chhupaane ka, chup rahne ka,
Sab kuchh keh kar sab logon se
Kuchh bhi na kehne ka

Main kaise jiyunga tumse sab kuchh keh kar
Kehna bhi nahi aata hai ab to
Kaha hi nahi kisi se jo umr bhar
Kaise kahunga
Kehta bhi hoon to lagta hai
Kuchh keh hi nahi paa raha hoon jaise
Kuchh ghalat sa ho raha hai jaise
Koi yaad kisi baat ke kehne se
Kahin chhoo na jaae, bigard na jaae
Wo tasweeren dhundli zaroor hain ab
Par gehri bhi hain, dar lagta hai
Kuchh mit naa jaae, hil naa jaae

Main aadi nahin hoon yaadon ko
Kisi se kehne sunne ka
Tumse bhi nahi
Tumse to bilkul hi nahi
Tumhi to wo tasweer ho
Kahin hil naa jao, bigard na jao
Saalon ki mehnat se yaad rakha hai
Ab aise kaise kho doon tumko
Bas tumhare mil jaane se
Wo tum to hamesha se mere saath ho
Aur tum to abhi aaye ho waapas
Kuchh sabr karo
Saans lene do
Kuchh sochne do
Kuchh sehne do
Kuchh dar ko sambhaal lene do
Kuchh muafi maang lene do
Kuchh rehne do
Kuchh to rehne do

Ab mujhse hi tum khud ko kyun
Chheenne aaye ho
Kyun ye zulm mujhpar karne aaye ho
Main toot jaunga
Is tarah ke kuchh bhi nahi reh jaunga
Na tanha aur na saath tumhare
Nahi
Mujhe jaane do
Dard mein waapas jaane do

Wo dard hi humara bandhan hai ab
barson se wahi hai, kuchh aur nahi hai
Kis sukoon se jeeta tha main dard main
Koi fikr hi nahi thi kuchh khone ki
Jo kuchh khona tha kabka kho chuka tha
Tumse bichhardna to kabka ho chuka tha
Kis kis tarah se seekha sambhalna
Ek zindagi guzaar ke seekha tha jeena
Ab kya karunga
Tum phir jaoge
Har koi to kabhi jaata hi hai na
Tumne hi kaha hai
Kyun aa kar kaha hai
Kyun daraa kar kaha hai
Kya chhahte ho aakhir
Kuchh jaante hi nahi ho
Mujhe jaante hi nahi ho
Mere apne dard
Aur tumhara dard
Sab ek hue kabse
Ab na poochho
Kya ye kya wo hai
Sab ek hi hai
Sab dard hi hai
Kuchh aur mujhe
Maloom hi nahi hai
Waapas jaane do
Paas na aane do
Mujhe sambhaal lo
Door hi rakho
Khud se door
Khushion se door
Naye dard se door
Wo dard purane hi kaafi hain
Unko to main khoob jaanta hoon ab
Wo aur nahi satayenge mujhe
Sehla sehla ke sulaayenge mujhe
So jaane do
Phir muaf karo
Is baar bhi mujhko jaane do
Abhi jaane do
Abhi bhi kuchh bigrda nahi hai
Main shayad kuchh samjha hi nahi hoon
Ke tum laute ho
Ya khwabon mein hoon
Ab bhi shayad bach jaun
Der na ho jaane do
Fauran jaana hai
Ek ek pal ka dard
Ek sadi ki tarah peechha karega
Ye jaanta hoon- tab bhi to yahi sab ek baar hua tha
Ek pal bhi na zaaya karne do
Jaane do
Mujhe fauran waapas jaane do
Dard mein waapas jaane do.

-------
By Siyaah.
-------

A 'stream of consciousness' nazm...could not stop it once it started forming mentally...posting unedited. Somewhat different from my usual attempts which are generally in the ghazal style...this is more in the modern nazm style, I guess...

8 comments:

vibhav said...

Felt good to read this. The stream of consciousness manner makes it easier to relate to. Very insistent, very forceful, very sincere.

Siyaah said...

Vibhav:
Your three words - insistent, forceful, and sincere, made me feel that the intended effect carried through...; sometimes one wonders if what one writes is even intelligible to anyone else, and such a pleasant shock to see that some people can relate to it...

Anonymous said...

Siyaah....intelligible? You must be kidding - every single word made sense.Potent.I relate to the words and pain that made the words flow. (And I am not a native speaker of hindi/urdu and the like - so XXL kudos)

Was a fan ever since I came across ur blog - now even more so. Way way more so!
- Myou

Siyaah said...

Myou:
Overwhelmed with your kind words of appreciation. Glad you could relate, and you continue to like the blog. Thank you for the encouragement!

J said...

Siyaah,
It is also a pleasant shock to identify with someone else's writing, especially of the stream-of-consciousness variety.

I read this aloud to myself, and was very moved. I felt the fear.

By the way, interesting to see a new avataar of yours!

Siyaah said...

J:
Thanks! You're really good with the 'azad nazm' style yourself! Glad you could identify, and also great point on how much more effect such poetry has if read out aloud. Maybe one day will try an audio to go with it.

Anonymous said...

What a great, powerful poem... Like from the depths of the soul... Reading it was like breathing through the experience... Amazed!

Siyaah said...

Anonymous: Thanks for such an expressive comment!