My State These Days

My State These Days
[By Jigar Moradabadi. Translated from the Urdu by Siyaah]

My state these days turns heedless of pain-
Every joy that was my share seems on the wane... [1]

An apocalyptic glory indeed - this turns now to the beauty of both worlds-
The gathering is the same, yet the heart's desire is on the wane... [2]

The same companion and attendant, yet the heart does suffocate-
The lamp is the same, yet the flame is on the wane... [3]

This life is the same, O Jigar, yet such is my state-
As if the very life of life is on the wane... [4]


Translator's Notes

One of the critical aspects for this ghazal was re-creating the "kam hoti jaati hai" effect in English. In the original, this repeated rhyme applies to a variety of metaphors. After several considerations, the poetically familiar "on the wane" was chosen as it conveyed the literal meaning of "to decrease gradually in size, amount, intensity or degree" and could be applied to the derived meanings for the different metaphors in each couplet.

[1] tabiyat can literally mean disposition, nature, temperament but here 'my state' conveyed the closest meaning suggesting the temporal aspect related to 'these days'.

[2] qayamat kya... proved very difficult to translate. qayamat carries a variety of meanings, refering literally to 'the day of judgment' but often the derived meaning indicates something of comparable intensity, particularly beauty. The metaphor is cleverly used by the poet to convey that the gathering is intensely beautiful, an 'apocalypic glory' - the apocalyptic part leads to the idea of it being at the threshold of this world and the 'hereafter', thereby being 'the beauty of both worlds'. This also suggests that the 'gathering' refered to is the 'gathering' of all humans/the world, for which his heart does not have the same desire anymore...

[3] shaahid-o-saaqi literally means 'witness and cup-bearer', and implies 'companion and attendant' which seem to go better in English in the context of this couplet.
dil bujhta jaata translated as 'the heart does suffocate' conveys the literal imagery of getting extinguished but also the deeper sense of the metaphor implying a mental / emotional suffocation.

[4] The last line literally means 'life goes out of life' which is typical of Jigar's style - conveying a 'heavy' thought with startlingly simple lyrical beauty...I have captured the idea here by the rhyming ' the very life of life is on the wane'.

Tabiyat In Dinon

Tabiyat In Dinon
[By Jigar Moradabadi]

Tabiyat in dinon begaana-e-gham hoti jaati hai
Mere hisse ki goya har khushi kam hoti jaati hai

Qayaamat kya ye aye husn-e-do-aalam hoti jaati hai
Ke mehfil to wahi hai, dil-kashi kam hoti jaati hai

Wahi hai shaahid-o-saaqi magar dil bujhta jaata hai
Wahi hai shamma lekin roshni kam hoti jaati hai

Wahi hai zindagi lekin Jigar ye haal hai apna
Ke jaise zindagi se zindagi kam hoti jaati hai


This is one of my favorites by Jigar, for whose "song of myself" I attempted a translation earlier. Rendered classically by Begum Akhtar here...there is only one way to introduce Begum Akhtar: once her classical old-world charm starts growing on you, you just can't listen to anyone else for a while. There's also a pretty good version of this by Vinod Sehgal but couldn't find it online so far...

And here...

Walking along
Heading for the Citizenship Court
Kent Street
I have been here seven years
Yet the same question
Where do you come from?

Cyril Dabydeen, South Asian - North American poet. Goatsong 1977.

Main Sar Jhukae Hue...

Main sar jhukae hue, dard ko chhupae hue,
Palat ke aaya to har raah-guzar andheri thi...





psychic upheavals.
somewhere in south asia.

Life: Ghalib

I really feel I should acknowledge Mirza Ghalib's birth anniversary here after reading this tribute.

Here's a lesser-known couplet that has haunted me for a while. I have realized that one of the special qualities of Ghalib's couplets is that instead of losing their appeal on repeated reading and mulling over, their value is actually enhanced...every time a new door of meanings, insinuations and perspectives opens up on revisiting the same couplet.

Often, such a couplet becomes a prism through which one continues to see everything in life for days and days. Even his lesser-known couplets are packed with such rich poetic flavor:


Umr har chand ki hai barq-e-khiraam
Dil ke khoon karne ki fursat hi sahi.
[By Mirza Ghalib]

Life’s moments are but lightning flashes,
And yet suffice to slay the heart. [1]
[Interpretive translation by Siyaah]


[1] "dil ke khoon karne" literally means to 'turn the heart to blood', but the metaphor is lost on an English audience. I have used the direct meaning of "khoon karna" as ' to slay'.